Adventures In Brittany Sitting
by snoozin81
Summary: To get on Santana's good side Rachel volunteers to keep an eye on Brittany while Santana's out of town.  It proves more challenging than she thought.


You don't say 'no' to Santana Lopez, it's a rule of survival, so when she asks Rachel to keep an eye on Brittany while she's out of town for her cousin's wedding Rachel agrees. She under estimates the measure of responsibility she's signing up for until Noah drags the three of them to an unsupervised party at Matt Rutherford's house.

There are red plastic cups filled with questionable substances that seem to catch both Noah and Brittany's attention the second they walk through the door. Rachel tries to keep an eye on both of her companions but as the night wares on the crowd thickens. She's pretty sure more than half of the McKinley student body is crammed into Matt's living room, bodies gyrating to the ear shattering sound system that someone has cranked up to full blast. Every time Noah or Brittany leaves her side she looses them in the mass of moving bodies.

She doesn't really panic until twenty minutes pass with no sight of Brittany. She waits an additional five minutes (that feel more like fifty) before her fear pushes her away from the wall she's been standing against most of the night and towards the kitchen where she knows Noah is playing beer pong with that hockey jerk Dave.

He's in deep concentration when she manages to push her way through the horde of onlookers. She waits impatiently, shifting from foot to foot, until there's a brief loll while Dave picks up one of the cups in front of him and begins to chug its contents, that's when she steps forward.

"I seem to be having some trouble locating Brittany," She tells him.

His eyes never leave his opponent and she's not sure whether or not he's heard her until she goes to repeat herself and he holds a hand up to stop her. Across the table, Dave smacks the now empty cup back down and the audience around them goes wild.

"'Sup, Short Stack," he replies, finally turning towards her as the noise around them begins to quiet. His voice is slurred and he has a firm grip on the edge of the table in order to keep himself from swaying. She doesn't really feel bad for interrupting his game because he's obviously already had too much to drink.

"I can't find Brittany."

He shrugs one shoulder. "'S' a big girl, can take care of herself."

She doesn't i_mean/i_ to stomp her foot like a petulant child but he's not listening to her and she's just barely managed to form this precarious sort of friendship with Santana that could easily teeter the other way at any given moment. Brittany's the hinge holding it all together and she's currently missing.

"Noah," she whines. "You promised you'd help me keep an eye on her otherwise I'd never have agreed to partake in this blatant display of Juvenile delinquency."

"In or out, Puckerman, you're holding up…"

Rachel shoots Dave a scathing look that shuts him up before he can finish his sentence. Out of the corner of her eye she sees Noah's resistance wane as he hands one of his fellow football players the small, white ball he'd been holding in his free hand. She leads him back through the crowd mumbling i_excuse me/i_ with each body that bumps into her. Once they've made it through the thick of it she feels Noah's fingers curl around her hips, dragging her back towards him.

"Not now," she scolds pulling free from his grip.

"Come on Rach, Puckosaurus needs some lovin'."

"Perhaps you should have thought about that before letting Brittany run off to god knows where with god knows who. You don't suppose she has a rape whistle do you?"

He's laughing and she's not really sure what's so funny but it's got him doubled over, hands on knees, gasping for breath. She huffs hotly and glowers at him like he's lost his mind. They don't have time for this. They need to find Brittany.

"What?" She snaps.

"Rape whistle?" he chokes out.

"Sexual assault is no laughing matter! I'll have you know that sixty-eight percent of young women raped know their rapist either as a boyfriend, a friend, or a casual acquaintance. And if something happens to Brittany I'm fully prepared to tell Santana it was all i_your/i_ fault."

The idle threat is sobering or maybe it's the thought of Brittany actually being in trouble she's not really sure but Noah quickly sucks in a deep breath and rights himself. "Okay, okay," he says getting his laughter under control. "Lets find Brittany."

She's kind of appalled when Noah suggests they check the bedrooms first. She's seen movies and heard rumors about what goes on behind closed doors at parties like these but she doesn't care to see it first hand. With every door they open she holds her breath. Luckily behind door number three they find Brittany curled up with Mike. He's tightly framing her body, hand resting on her hip, and they both have their eyes closed.

"See, she's perfectly fine." Noah points out. "The only thing Chang's known for assaulting is the dance floor."

Mike's eyes flutter open and his hand leaves Brittany's body long enough to offer Noah a fist bump. Rachel thinks this new fangled gesture is ridiculous but she holds back her scathing remarks on the subject.

"I'm not sure Santana would appreciate you fondling her girlfriend," she says instead.

"Santana won't mind," Brittany sighs in content.

"Either way I think it's time for us to call it an evening."

Once again Noah's not listening. He collapses onto the bed on the other side of Mike and mumbles, "Relax Rachel. Come cuddle with me."

She can feel her patience slipping away, not that she had a lot to begin with. "You're being impossible." She cries reaching out and taking a hold of Brittany's arm. She tugs gently in order to coax the blonde up and begrudgingly Brittany complies, slipping out from under Mike's hand. He groans in protest and rolls over onto his back.

Noah props himself up on his elbows, his brows puckered in annoyance. "Well if you're not going to cuddle with me and you won't let Brittany cuddle with Chang, me and him are going to cuddle, 'cause I need someone to cuddle with right now."

Rachel rolls her eyes. "Whatever, Noah, come find me when you're not drunk."

He looks from her, to Mike, to Brittany and then back again before clamoring to his feet. "Fine," he sighs. "If you wanna go, let's go."

Wrapping her arm around Brittany's waist in order to steady the girl she happens to glance down at the floor and notices that her friend's shoes are missing. "Brittany," she asks. "What happened to your shoes?"

Brittany looks down at her feet, wiggles her toes, and then shrugs. "I can't remember where I put them."

_"Well if you're not going to cuddle with me and you won't let Brittany cuddle with Chang, me and him are going to cuddle, cause I need someone to cuddle with right now."  
"Whatever, Noah, come find me when you're not drunk." (pg. 16, prompt 2)_


End file.
